This is a love letter to you

I’ve woken up at 4am to catch the bus for you, frozen my toes sliding down mountains for you, and fallen more times than I can count learning balance with you. The smell of grass, mud, mats, sweat, and chalk. The sound of breathing, pads cracking, weights hitting, focus. I’ve gotten bigger by accident and shrunk myself on purpose because of you, lost myself in reps and grams and other people’s opinions for some time, trying to prove I was worthy of you.

I lost myself because of you. The body image issues, the disordered eating, the obsession with being perfect instead of being present.

But I also found myself with you, discovered the courage, the discipline, the love, and the capacity for more than I ever thought I could hold.

I learned that loving you meant learning when to push and when to let go, when to track and when to trust.

There were times I hated you, times I resented what you asked of me. But even then, you carried me through every transformation that pushed me to my breaking point, and you were there on the other side.

Every part of my life has been shaped by reaching for you, then learning to fuel for you because god I love food and travel too.

You’ve been my longest, most committed relationship. I welcome the challenges, and for that reason I get impatient when injuries keep me from you. I love the iron in my hand, the callouses, the bruises. All the proof that I showed up for you.

From rugby to bodybuilding to Muay Thai, I’m still in awe of what uncoordinated, anxious me has been capable of with you, all because I have persistence and tenacity that doesn’t quit.

You’ve given me the deepest connections I’ve ever had. A whole world of people who understand what it means to choose you every single day.

And I see that same allegiance in others too, that same stubborn commitment. The ones who move their life around like tetris to make it to the gym, who show up tired, who meal prep on Sundays, who keep trying new approaches, fail, and try again because they care enough to figure it out. That same relentless love for you.

That’s why I get to do this, why I get to move, grow, adventure and help other people fall in love with you too. Because I know what you’ve cost me and I know what you’ve given me, and I wouldn’t trade a second of it.

So yeah, this is my love letter to you. But it’s also ours.

I love you, forever and always. 💚

P2